If you find yourself in a crisis pregnancy, you may feel like you're adrift on the ocean in the midst of a hurricane. You may be confused, afraid, and emotional--especially if you do not have the support of the baby's father. Perhaps you feel unable to provide for your child, or don't want to be a single parent, or have extenuating circumstances in your life that seem overwhelming.
It isn't good to make significant decisions when in the midst of upsetting emotions, and deciding what to do about your pregnancy is one of the biggest decisions of your life. Here are some simple steps to ensure you reach the shore safely rather than shipwrecking into a decision you may later regret.
1. Don't jump overboard
Learning you are pregnant may have been a shock. Making a quick decision may give you the impression that you have handled the situation, restoring your psychological equilibrium, but in reality, pregnancy is a complex situation. Some women have regretted terminating pregnancies, and some women have regretted putting their babies up for adoption. Don't jump overboard in panic: give yourself permission to take time for your decision, because your first impulse may not ultimately be the best one for you.
2. Wade through your feelings
After giving yourself permission to slow down and take time to decide, the next thing to do is evaluate your life. Turn off your phone and computer, grab a notebook and pen, and spend some time wading through your thoughts and feelings. Consider the following:
What are my life goals right now?
How can I adjust those goals to accommodate a baby?
What are my values regarding termination of pregnancy?
How would I feel about giving my baby up for adoption?
Even though your baby's father may not be in the picture, take time to consider his feelings about a baby. You may want to talk to him about the decision, even if your relationship is conflicted. Is there the possibility he could change his mind about fatherhood?
Making a decision about your pregnancy that is inconsistent with your core values may cause you emotional difficulty in the years to come. On the other hand, though your pregnancy initially feels like a crisis, as you examine your life direction you may find that a baby is an exciting turn of events.
3. Dive into information
After getting your sea legs by settling your feelings about the pregnancy, it's time to dive into the information shipping lane. Turn your phone and computer back on, and tap into resources for crisis pregnancies. A myriad of support systems exists for women who find themselves surprised by pregnancy. Whatever your questions may be, typing them into your search engine will likely yield testimonials of women who have experienced the same conflicts. You can also make an appointment for pregnancy counseling to speak with a counselor who can give you factual answers to your questions.
4. Tread water
After taking time to examine your life goals, consider your core values, and gather supportive information, you probably have reached a decision about your pregnancy. However, just as you gave yourself permission to make the decision, now give yourself permission to sit on it for at least 24 hours. Treading water for a day allows you to make sure it is what you want to do before going forward with it.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy doesn't have to shipwreck you. Not only do you have the answer to your crisis deep within yourself, but you also have access to an unprecedented amount of information about whatever decision you make. A pregnancy counseling center can point you to people who can help walk you through your decision, no matter what it is. Hang on and keep your head; you'll be safe to shore before you know it.
Share21 January 2015
I was always very healthy throughout my childhood, but when I became a teenager, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Thankfully, I had the support of my loving family to help keep me upbeat during a time that could have led to me experiencing the depression that some do after they first learn they will have an illness for life. I am very grateful for the advice I have gotten throughout my life, so I decided to create a blog where I can share all of the advice that has helped me live a happy, healthy life, despite having a chronic illness. Since I am on a medication that suppresses my immune system, I have also studied up on many other illnesses and tips for avoiding them and treating them. I plan to post health tips for people of a variety of ages and suffering with various illnesses!